The Heart of the Matter – Valentine’s Day Part II: Appropriate gifts

in Entertainment, Events, Food, Merchandise

In Part 1, we discussed the graphic history of Valentine’s Day.  Born in blood and sacrificial debauchery, this day of hearts harbors happier thoughts today. Visions of cupid and candy, roses and red teddy bears are cute, but are they really the heart of the homicidal holiday?

To serve justice and honor the darker side of this romantic respite, OTM brings you a very special “heart-felt” holiday guide, ensuring a Valentine’s Day to die for.  (Some items may not be suitable for young eyes or work environments)

A sentimental serenade starts off our story and can help set that killer Valentine’s Day celebration. 


Candy is dandy, liquor is quicker, but a big red brick really does the trick . . . if proclaiming undying love for your significant other must said with sweets, try these fitting finds:

Vegan Treats offers this elegant arrangement of spooky Valentine Chocolates (order by 2/9 and be prepared to spend $87 -$115).
vegan1vegan 2

Perhaps you want to get ahead in your relationship – these chocolate skulls are a no brainer (according to Chocolate, they’re cast from an ACTUAL HUMAN SKULL).

chocolate skulls

Giving of one’s self is always part of a relationship – these chocolate body parts, from Visual Anatomy. are a good representation of that sentiment:
Desire the debauchery of the Roman holiday, give a hint with Kama Sutra chocolates from Firebox (or the strong of heart – Firebox, also offers –not pictured here- an edible anus).

KS Chocolate1


Trinkets are also an accepted admiration announcement:

Teddy Bears are so cliche’ – honor the animal in you and remember that sacrificial offerings were once a part of the holiday, a zombie teddy (as seen on Amazon) seems like a much more memorable memento.

Zombie Teddy

Equally overdone is jewelry.  Why not really put some heart into it with this pendant from Amazon.

anatomical heart

Finally, flowers are always a good stand by – don’t be chicken; go the extra mile

Going out for an overpriced meal can be disheartening, do something different
Try a nice romantic candle lit dinner – Waffle House has you covered

Waffle House

The, for the ultimate thrill, follow it up with heart-pumping entertainment

(heartier haunt listings can be found here at Theme Park University)

The key is to be crawl out of the crypt and be creative.  The more you put your heart into something, the more fiendish fun can found.


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